30-Day Blog Challenge: Day 3 - A Letter to My Parents

Well, well, well. This one should be just as if not more interesting than the one I wrote to my crush on Day 2. I'm just going to write this off of the top of my head right now, so I'm sure my heart will pour out on this one. For those who don't know, I was raised by my grandparents. So I'll write two letters: one to my parents, and one to my grandparents.

Dear Mom and Dad,

As I sit and write this blog, I look back on my life and your noticeable absence from it. Although you've both attempted to re-establish some relationship with me as an adult, I honestly dont feel that connection with you. I understand Mom that you were young, naive and trying to do the best you could as an almost 20 yr old mom. I understand the feeling of not knowing how to cope with pregnancy, and feeling as though your freedom was being taken away. I was a young mother as well, and I know that dealing with you and my dad's issues didnt make things any easier. Dad, I understand that you had many demons to battle, and that so many other circumstances prevented you from being in my life consistently. For many years I felt bitterness towards you and my mom, for going out and living your own separate lives, with other men/women and their other children, while I lived with my grandparents and depended on my grandparents, aunts, uncles and close family friends to attend mother/daughter or father/daughter functions. I felt anger at how you both could live with and help raise other people's children while leaving me behind.

It lead to me having an inability to trust or be close to anyone, which made my high school experience a painful one, and didnt properly equip me for life, relationships and love. As an adult, however, I see that by leaving me to the care of my grandparents (Gladys and Darnell), you both left me with a wonderful gift: parents who truly love me and protect me. Without them, I'm not sure where I would be or how my life would have ended up. I'd probably be a statistic in the worst way, without motivation, class, grace, or intelligence. So dont take it personally that I dont feel particularly close to you. I love you both for bringing me into the world and being able to realize that you would not be able to parent me in a way that would make me the best that I can be. And for that, I appreciate you. I understand that now that you've seen that I have become a good person you want to take credit for it. I understand that you now want a "real" relationship with me, and maybe God will move me in that direction at some point in my life. But for now, I'm focusing on raising my son and not having him enduring the same pain that I experienced. To make his days full of laughter and happiness, and show him that despite all circumstances, parents who love their children do not leave them.

Sincerely,

Your daughter

Dear GG and Grandpa Dee,

I love you both more than words can describe. Although it wasnt your responsibility, you raised me and treated me as if I was one of your children. Our many trips across the world, special events, and outings showed me that there was so much life out there to experience. I know that all of these things would not have happened had my parents not left me in your care. Grandpa's passing away shook me to the core, and I had to face junior high and high school, and now life, without him. But he instilled in me strength, and the unconditional love of a man, something that has molded me into the loving woman that I am. GG, I appreciate you more than words can express. I am blessed that I can always turn to you whenever I need an ear or some advice. You are my rock, and have made me into the woman that I am. Strong but compassionate, willing to help anyone who needs it. Someone that understands that no matter what, I will take care of my child. I love you and thank you for the home cooked breakfasts every day before school, the study sessions where your years of teaching helped me excel, your understanding when I felt short and had my son in college. Thank you for being you. I am blessed beyond measure.

I love you so much,
Dee