Real Hip Hop

I feel like its time for a State of the Hip Hop Union address or something! I am so frustrated with bubblegum rappers claiming to be Hip-Hop. Hip-Hop is a lifestyle, it's music, dress, attitude (long before 'swag'). And its very much alive. On a street corner near you, somebody is dropping some HOT lines, complete with REAL wordplay, sick flow, and killer punchlines. Said lyricist has most likely been doing the same thing, for many years. So why is it that these artists, with though provoking and inspiring flows, are never on your Hot 97s, WGCIs, and Power 92s? There is a huge market for these artists, the same market that jumped on Eminem when he came on the scene. The same market that loves itself some Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Busta Rhymes, Nas, Rakim, KRS-One and Wu-Tang. The same crowds that pack the Rock the Bells tour every summer. 


I had the pleasure of attending Rock the Bells this summer, and although it was an 12-hour (yes 12) long day, I was still rocking hard IN THE RAIN to Nas and Damien Marley, after having had a wonderful day full of music from so many REAL Hip-Hop artists, its hard to name them all. I even had the pleasure of hearing K'naan perform live, along with seeing The Roots again. Their live instrumentation is phenomenal. So forgive me if I'm frustrated by people dancing around chanting "Gucci you dont love me" or if I'm not up on the latest 106th and Park videos. Thats not my kind of music. I want to go back to the good old days. The late 80s-early to late 90s, when I could bump my 36 Chambers and get hyped. There are so many underground emcess who have managed to keep their name in the streets like Jean Grae, that it saddens me that these people have not seen mainstream success. Guess spitting knowledge scares people, so they'd rather us spit garbage.

Infidelity - Is it Ever Worth It?

So, of course almost everyone in the free world has heard about Tiger Woods and his recent infidelity. But cheating is nothing new. I just dont understand why a person would knowingly do something that, if caught, would seriously hurt their partner, and potentially destroy their relationship. What confuses me even more are articles where they say that the men love their wives/girlfriends, and still cheat. Im going to say its safe to say that men who think that have no clue what love is. When you are in love with someone, their happiness is important to you. You wouldnt do something that could hurt them, and you are always looking out for their best interest.


Now I understand that sometimes its a lust thing, men who just want to have sex with other women. But in cases where the man builds a side relationship (taking the other woman out, bringing her around friends/family), how much can you really be in love with the person you're with? Im a firm believer in the fact that you can love someone but not be in love with them. But why not leave the person before making the decision to cheat? I feel that cheaters are selfish. They often care about both women, and find qualities in each that they like. They dont want to give up either situation, even though they know that managing it will become impossible. So why take the risk? Why not make a real decision. Either work on your current situation or leave to find something better? Seems like that would be too much like right for most people. Its sad how many hearts are broken unnecessarily, all because people are emotionally immature, and unable to control their urges. People lose their wives, girlfriends, and sometimes significant sums of money, and for what? Doesnt seem worth it to me.

My Apologies

I know Im way behind on blogs everybody, but there have been sooooo many things going on in my life, so I haven't been able to keep up. BUT, the good news is that I have a little bit of free time, and a ton of topics to blog about. So, without further ado...here we go!

Gone But Never Forgotten

I've been slacking on my blogs for a while, but not without good reason. On October 25, 2009, my cousin, Fias L Mannie, was killed in his home by a relative of his in-laws. I wont get into details because the case is still pending, but I will say that the killing was completely unprovoked and unjustified. As the case develops, I may include more information here, but for information on the story, you can check some of these links:

http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/2009/10/man-dead-infant-injured-in-south-holland-stabbings.html

http://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw/index.ssf/2009/11/mother_says_saginaw_man_accuse.html

http://www.nwitimes.com/news/local/illinois/article_fd44e255-8ea4-5dc6-aafc-2f78ddaa817c.html

This is my brief memoriam to my cousin "Fi" (Fi-Diddy to his friends). Fias was a God-fearing man. He was married in July of this year, and he and his wife often held Bible study in their home, as well as attended Bible study at their church. He was a kind, loving man, who always brought smiles to our faces at family gatherings, and during his random visits to my grandmother's house. What happened to him is unthinkable. At his memorial service, there were easily 500 people in the building. People gave their lives to God, and I could hardly keep it together. It was an amazing experience, and an amazing homegoing celebration for a man who touched so many lives. This year at Thanksgiving, I praise God that my baby cousin survived the attack, and that there is something left here on Earth for our family, despite the loss. My cousin was a good man, who lost his life senselessly. I know he is watching over us, and I smile when I remember the good times we've all had with him. Right now, my soul is at peace. I will not rest unless justice is served in this case, but I will pray for his murderer's soul.

Yes, We Do Exist!

There are lots of women who are genuine Chicago Bears fans, better yet sports fans in general. And no, most of us don't dress like this one over here to the left. LOL. We watch the games, understand the calls and plays, and know the difference between a touchdown and a rebound. So why is it that every now and then, I still meet a guy whose jaw drops to the floor when on the first date (at a sports bar mind you) I'm talking about Cutler's lack of an offensive line leading to his large amount of near-sacks and sacks?

Or that I know what a triple double is, and what exactly constitutes travelling? Or maybe that I know what a face mask call is? And that I know what those cute little yellow pieces of cloth are called when the refs throw them out on the field? Or by golly, I know what a bunt looks like, and know what batting leadoff is?

I know there will always be women who only watch sports to be able to hang with their man and his buddies (to keep an eye on them more likely than not). I can't knock their hustle, and I'm sure the men in their lives are on to them. But there are many of us who enjoy the game, and are in it for more than beer and hot wings. So don't automatically assume that because I enjoy a good game, and will buy tix to go see one, that I'm a fake fan that doesn't understand the game, and can't have a real conversation about it.

True Intimacy

Recently, I've noticed more and more men who feel that they don't need to share themselves with their woman in order to have an intimate relationship. What I mean by that is that when these men are feeling low, going through stress or other emotional issues, they refuse to tell their women what is wrong, leaving the woman confused and feeling helpless. Although I understand that many men feel it is a man's job to deal with those situations on their own, often the woman feels as though the man doesn't trust her, or doesn't want her close enough to them to help them through their struggles. It leaves the woman feeling like an outsider, instead of part of a team.

So what causes this belief? What makes men feel that they should at all time keep their sorrows to themselves, and keep the women in their lives away from it, despite the woman's desire to help? I've seen it more and more, and though I understand men's reasoning, I feel that it is a major way to increase the intimacy and closeness in a relationship. When a person knows that their significant other is there for them, both in good and bad times, there is a special bond that is created that strengthens the relationship. Men and women process stress differently, but by internalizing all of their hurt and stress, aren't men then becoming colder and more distant from those they love? Feeling that one must carry all of the burden on their own cannot be a good feeling. But more often than not, this isn't the case, and by getting the pain out, a person can begin to heal. I'm not a therapist, these are just the random thoughts of Ms. ChiGyrl...

What is "Good Hair"?

Recently, I had a semi-militant AA (African-American) friend of mine post a status msg about why AA women should not relax their hair. Ok, so for everyone reading this who doesn't know, I'm an AA woman. I also relax my hair. Hair relaxers are a "not so secret" secret in the AA community, somewhere along the line of hair weaves (extensions). They are also a HUGE point of contention between those who have them, and those who do not.

There are some members of the AA community who relax their hair to conform to European standards of beauty. They are sometimes self-loathing, and think that their hair in it's natural state is "ugly". These people more likely than not, will never change their way of thinking, and will display this self loathing in more ways than a simple hairstyle choice.

My reason for relaxing is entirely different. I happen to have a hair texture that is weird to say the least. Not "nappy" as most would call it, but not the silky mixed-grade hair of most. I do extend the periods of time between relaxers because I know the chemicals themselves are not healthy, but relaxing makes my hair more easy to manage. It fits into my morning routine quite easily, and I only have to curl my hair once or twice a week, but the results last for days, without heavy sprays.

But I also love the look of textured styles, and will sometimes rock a curly 'fro with a rod/straw set, or braids in the summer. I think that my hair is sexy and fly both ways. So I am highly irritated when on of the "Nappy or Unhappy" crew tries to imply that I'm not "black" enough because I choose to relax. I hate to break it to them, but my hairstyle has absolutely nothing to do with what non-black society thinks about my hair. How about I change my hair up because I like the versatility. I know people rocking locs who spend ridiculous amounts on times getting tightened up. My trip to the Egyptian salon for a wash and blow out OR a touch up? Less than an hour and a half, EVERY time.

I find it especially interesting when people use the danger of chemical products as the basis for this assertion. But these same people wear lipstick, deodorant, perfume, cologne, use regular soap, shampoos and conditioners. Um, chemicals right? Especially when there is a debate on whether or not deodorant causes cancers. LMAO. But I dont see them taking it back to the Motherland and smelling au naturel.

Ethnic identity is about more than hair. While I acknowledge that there are those of us who hate our natural hair, I am not one of them, so PLEASE stop preaching to me. Cause me and the creamy crack have come a long way. And I'm not leaving it alone just yet.

It Could All Be So Simple...

...but you'd rather make it hard...

Well, so much for the great guy I was dating. A few weeks ago that crashed and burned. I thought this guy was really great. I hung out with him once or twice a week...until he told me that unless he saw me at least 3x a week, he didnt feel like we were dating. Huh? Now, I can fully understand seeing your mate 3-4x a week. But this guy felt like he needed to see me that often before he would even consider us being an item. That made me see the red light. If this guy wants 3 days before we get together, would he then expect 5-7 if we are a couple. Now as much as I liked the guy, there is no way I'd give someone half of my week BEFORE they decide they want to be with me. Why?

Because it then kills any opportunity I might have to meet someone else. I dont want to be "in limbo" with someone who wants to monopolize my time, without stepping up to the plate. Although I wasn't dating anyone else while I was seeing him, I never would have had time to meet anyone else had I given in to such an unusual request. Then, a month or so down the line when he decided he didn't want to be with me seriously, I would have missed many opportunities for a better match. I reeeeaaaalllly liked this one ya'll, but after I told him I would try to see him more often, but couldnt grant his 3 days request, he completely flipped out and became an a**hole. I mean, it got so bad one day that I had to tell him that I don't know who the h**l he was talking to, but I'm done listening to his disrespect. And there it was.

Now I even tried to speak to him a week or two later to make amends, and do you know that fool had the nerve to tell me to stop stalking him? Is he serious? All I could do was look at the computer screen and laugh at his egomania. I surely wasn't stalking him, but I thought it was hilarious that he would say someone was. I am soooo glad I didnt give him my "goodies". People will show you their true colors every time if you let them...

So, oh well, my dating trials and tribulations have continued...but the new situation is going on my private blog...sorry ya'll! LOL. If it works out, I'll let you in on it, but until then...

Later days,

MsChiGyrl

Randomosity...

Randomosity is where you'll find whatever thoughts are running through my mind. No specific blog topic, just tiny glimpses into the madness that is my brain....so let's go.

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom married? Really ya'll. This marriage and wedding has been pretty much been proven to be staged, but after 1 month of dating and some strange pre-nup post-wedding stipulation, this sounds like a hot a** mess from every angle. I am soooo *shaking my head* at you two and this foolishness.

Um, ok, so is anybody REALLY mad that we didn't get the Olympics here in Chicago? Ok, it may have been fun to watch 3 weeks of extraordinarily fit men run, jump, bike, swim, and whatever else they do at the Olympics. But was it really worth the damage to the city's infrastructure, budget, and way of life? I saw this as a thinly veiled attempt to further gentrify the city. So I was glad they didnt get it. I'm sure you won't agree, but this is my blog and I dont care. LOL.

Did my shoulda-been baby's daddy Method Man really have to turn himself in to jail for unpaid taxes and fines? I mean, I know he never hit mega star status as far as the money went, but for real? When I heard his Escalade got repo'd, I knew the recession was in full effect. :)

There are sooo many more random thoughts going through my mind at the moment. But it's homework and sleep time, so I'll keep em coming tomorrow. Later days people!

A Long Walk Home

As many of you may know, last week a Chicago Public High School Honor Student named Derrion Albert was beaten to death during a melee that occurred a block away from Fenger High School. From what has been said, there has been trouble brewing between a group of neighborhood kids, and a group of kids from a nearby housing project that take public transportation to the school. The neighborhood kids were attacking the commuting students on the bus stops after school while they were waiting on buses home.

On this particular day, a large group of students from both sides, as well as students passing by on their way from school were assembled in a street near the school. Some young people were swinging large railroad ties (2x4 style pieces of wood) at one another and fist fighting. Derrion Albert was one of the student watching the melee unfold, when he was struck in the head with a railroad ties, then continued to be stomped and beaten as he lay dying on the ground. A worker from the youth center in front of which this took place then dragged his limp body into the buildng, where he died. There was a single police car on the scene, but the officers did not exit the vehicle because they felt outnumbered.

The events were caught on amateur video (ironically, as though this event was planned or something) and more information on the story can be found here. There was a video that contains very graphic content, but I believe that the Chicago Tribune has taken it down. The video helped lead to the arrest of 4 young men, who have been charged with first-degree murder.

http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/2009/09/boy-16-found-slain-on-far-south-side.html

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi-teen_killed_roselandsep26,0,5094890.story

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi-fenger-student-beating-29-sep29,0,7259806.story

I know I'll get plenty of backlash for this, but I would have been perfectly ok with the cops getting out and busting caps in all the hooligans wielding 2x4s. Yup, I said it! They may have been outnumbered, but as a fairly good shot myself, thats at least 12 shots between the two. More of they were packing 9s. I wont make excuses for these children's behavior. Despite their possibly poor upbringing, I dont know anybody anywhere who doesnt realize that if I hit somebody with this wood, they will be hurt seriously and/or die. I know people from the roughest parts of the city. Who have seen their friends killed one by one, have been involved in the violence themselves, and not one of them has said to me that they didnt know what they were doing was wrong. Yes, its sad that more parents are not involved in their childrens lives. In many cases, the parents are working round the clock to make ends meet, and may not be aware that their children are out here destroying our communities. Two of the young men involved in this melee HAVE NO CRIMINAL RECORD. So as much as I like to blame parents, these students knew that what they were doing was wrong. I hope they are punished to the fullest extent of the law, and incarcerated for the rest of their natural lives.

As a parent, I can only pray that my son is able to walk a few blocks home from school without being beaten to death. While everyone says parents should walk their child to and from school, I work til 4:30pm, and my son (who is in 3rd grade) gets out at 2:45. Fortunately, I have family that can walk him to and fro, but not everyone does. Does that mean they are bad parents? Does it mean they haven't taught their children right and wrong? Even from early adolescence, children start to form their own opinions and make their own decisions that go against what they've been taught. Small children lie, some hide things they know they shouldn't have, and get into other mischief. So by the time they get to high school, they are well aware of what they should and should not do. Cause if those officers had gotten out all politely trying to talk to folks, I believe they may have been ambushed as well. I could go on and on about this, but I'll stop. Wooo saaa.

R.I.P. Derrion Albert, so sad to see you go.

Come On Now 'Yeezy

(c)2009 - Chris Polk / Getty Images

Ok, so initially I decided not to blog about this, because I felt like it was too ridiculous to even be worth my time. But now, it's been irritating me so much that I can no longer hold in my words. For the few people on Earth who don't know what happened, here's the brief recap: Taylor Swift was at the MTV Video Awards and won an award for Female Video of the Year. During her acceptance speech, Kanye comes on stage, takes the mic from her, and then talks about how Beyonce had the video of the decade, hangs Taylor the mic and walks off, amidst boos from the crowd.

Though I believe that Kanye West is a musical genius, I think that this incident (amongst his others) shows me that he has the emotional maturity of a preschooler. He is constantly in need of attention, and though most would like to blame this on his mother's passing, he was this way long before. He is a brat who doesnt understand that there is a time and place for everything. He gets angry at the papparazzi for taking his picture, then goes and does some ridiculous ish like this to get attention. I'm starting to think the man needs to be committed, or at least undergo some SERIOUS counseling.

Fortunately, Beyonce was classy enough to allow Taylor to properly give her speech when she (Beyonce) won another award later in the night. Beyonce looked shocked when Kanye climbed up on stage in the first place, so it was nice of her to share her spotlight w/Taylor. But Yeezy? You're starting to look even more clownish than most people already think you are. And I'm standing on the line between not supporting your music, because I'm not a fan of your antics.

MsChiGyrl has spoken.

F**k Christian Louboutin! Yup, I said it! LOL

Ok, so anyone who knows me knows that I am not a fashionista. Not because I don't know who the hot designers are. Not because I can't afford them. It's because I prefer comfort over style. So I keep it hood casual when I'm not at work, business casual at work, and date casual when I'm on dates. I own 3x more sneakers than heels, have over 20 pairs of jeans, and so many tees, hoodies, track suits, sweaters, and jackets.

Recently I decided to stop my tomboyish, fashion victim ways, and start to girl it up a bit. Yet and still, more men approach when I'm rocking my Chucks and some jeans, than when I'm rocking stilettos and a dress. What's up with that? Still, I wont lose hope that this new style will be a good decision. I've given away and thrown away over 100 pounds of old clothes, and I'm still working to get rid of a few more items. Ive given away 20 pairs of sneaks, and still have a few dozen to give away before I'm done. (Of course I have to keep a few pair, just in case this mission fails).

So do we really dress for others? Or are we fly for ourselves? I know that I always give myself the once over to make sure my hair isnt sticking up, or that I washed all the eye boogers away, but for the most part, I wear what I think is cute and what feels good. I saw a high school classmate of my with some FLY ass jeans on. But they were so bright that I'd probably opt away from them for all the attention they would draw. My cousin has some absolutely fly heels she spent a ridiculous amount of money on, they look great, but she will admit they hurt like all get out.

So despite thinking, 'man I would be one bad chick in that right there', I'm taking baby steps. Maybe I'll like this whole 'dang, my feet hurt but these are some fly a** shoes' thing. I'll be sure to post pics of my journey from drab to fab. LMAO.

Real Love Never Goes Away

Well, you all are about to get to read about a side of me that I dont share with everyone often. So enjoy the read...

I've learned recently that it is entirely possible to love someone, but move forward into a relationship with someone else. I always thought I knew what love was, and what it felt like. But after I lost real love, I realize that I didnt have a clue.

Not too long ago I lost a man that I loved so much, because I allowed what other people said to me begin to cloud my judgement and make me doubt that they way he was treating me was genuine. I stopped trusting him, and as a result of snooping and spying, he walked out of my life. Initially, I was a wreck. I was drinking more than I should have, crying for what seemed like forever. I couldn't eat nor sleep, and probably looked like the walking dead, despite my best attempts to hide my pain.

This man moved on, and is now in a relationship. Initially, I was angry and hurt because it has only been a few months since we last saw one another, and I thought he moved on so quickly. I thought that is meant he never really cared about me if he wasnt feeling the hurt that I felt. Crazy and unusual things kept happening to me, which I guess was just God's way of keeping us apart. But him finding a new love was the wake up call that I needed to realize that for whatever reason, we weren't meant to be together, and it was only right for me to try to pick up the pieces of my heart and move on.

So I began to try to find ways to meet people. I had decided for the most part that I would stop taking recommendations from friends because thats what I'd been doing my whole life, and that wasn't working out so well. So I would smile more as I went through my day, and despite getting many smiles in return, I never got stopped on the street and asked out. I started partying like a rock star in order to get out and meet more people, but none reall caught my eye.

I even joined a dating website that some of my friends used to meet people. It was so highly regarded on the radio that I decided to give it a try. I hate that work and school take up so much of my time that I'm not able to get out there and mingle, but that's what's important right now, so I have to stay focused. Out of the many people who contacted me, I've only actually met one. And so far, he's a really good guy, with whom I have a lot in common. I'm taking things slowly, and will see if anything more than a friendship comes of it.

But the one thing that has not changed in the entire time since I learned that the last guy has a new girl is that I still love him. I wish him well in his new relationship, despite it not being with me. He deserves to be in love and to experience everything that love can offer him. He has been through a lot, and though he feels like he has to do it all by himself, I am glad that he is choosing to share the load he carries with someone else. Does me loving him keep me from being open to the possibility of being in love again? No, it doesn't. But it does help me to appreciate how real love feels, so that I can recognize it if I find it again.

Now my girlfriend's of course feel that I should be angry that he wasn't willing to work it out. That I'm crazy for wishing him well with this next woman. That I should continue to fight to get him back from her. But that isn't love. I love him enough to want him to be happy, and because of the petty thing I did that caused our separation, I can't blame him for feeling anything other than what he did. I hurt him because I didnt fully understand how he felt about me. That's my cross to carry. But I can say with certainty that I will love this man from now to eternity, but am more than sure that I will be in love with someone again when the time is right.

Personal Responsibility

There have been times recently when I have listened to people voice their opinions on issues, where I feel that they fail to accept personal responsibility for the roles that we play in the things that happen to us. Take my own experience as an example:

Recently, I lost someone that I love very deeply because I allowed the opinions of other's to create insecurity within my situation. Though there were things that this person could have done to squash issues that arose, I must still accept that I am not without fault in the matter. So I am now in a position where I am happy for this person in their new situation, despite not being a part of it. I know that the mistakes that were made before will not be made again, and I am better and stronger because of it. But in life, second chances are few and far between, and I see my situation so much more clearly now because of what I went through.

I know that we are in tough economic times, and that things are not where we wish they were, but a lot of the economic meltdown came from people living above their means. Long gone are the days when parents taught their children the value of living modestly and saving for their futures. Here are the days of easy credit, bigger houses, bigger cars, fancier clothes and jewels, and keeping up with what is seen on the television. It has placed our society into a downward spiral, and the road to recovery is long and hard. I think that this recovery period will show people just what they really need as opposed to what they think they need. I hope that this time really helps us re-evaluate what is important to us, and to protect both ourselves and our children in the event that such a meltdown happens again in our lifetime. My grandmother was around for the Great Depression, so this is her 2nd experience.

Although I know that the massive spending on the wars have created a great deal of this debt, we would have been much better able to handle it if so many of us were not living check to check, spending frivilously and preferring the buy now, pay later line of thinking over the 'ill buy what i can afford to have right now' attitude.

Another Day, Another Experience...
Ms ChiGyrl

Feeling Those Butterflies

Well, most people know that I have a relationship blog thats private, but I will go into MINOR detail here about what's been going on.

I've met someone I'm really into, but we are both fresh out of situations. Mine is a few months old, while his is more in the 6-8 week range. Now we get alone well, have a lot in common, but the fact that he may be on the rebound still irks me a little. Now he knows how I feel about it, I've told him so. I just find that sometimes it's hard for me to relax and let this thing go where it might, because of the feeling that things just might not be resolved completely with his ex. So, for now, I'm going with what he's telling me and moving forward, but I am seriously on the yellow light with this, when I really want to be on green! I mean, it's so bad that I want to kiss this man, but every time he tries, my mind goes blank and I immediately get nervous and wish I could disappear. This has never happened before, because I've been so used to dealing with men I've already known in some capacity beforehand, so there is an additional comfort level there. I just need to shake this off and see where it takes me. Wish me luck!

Another Day, Another Experience...
Ms ChiGyrl

Constant Evolution

Hey everyone,

Yup, it's Ms ChiGyrl, and yes, I'm starting this blog over from stratch. I was instantly attracted to blogging back when Yahoo 360 first started because it is so therapeutic to me. It gives me the chance to let my feelings out, show some vulnerability, and get honest opinions on things that matter to me. So yes, I've deleted the old blog (made is private basically) and I'm starting this one anew, to give me a chance to delve into topics of interest, and to express myself more freely than I am able to using some other mediums. So. Here we go. I'm taking you all for a ride through my constant evolution. New beginnings are abundant, though I begin with more knowledge and a greater sense of purpose than the time before. So let's do this everyone! Don't hold back your responses. This should get interesting!

Ms ChiGyrl