30-Day Blog Challenge: Day 7 - A Letter to Your Ex-boyfriend/love/crush

*deep breath, silent prayer*

To whom it may concern,
I've chosen to write this message collectively, as each experience has led to this place. For a time after each of us separated, I held on to sadness, anger, hurt and shame. I was sad that things that seemed so wonderful would never be again. Angry that I once again allowed myself to trust only to be let down. Hurt that someone i cared for so much would cause me such pain. Ashamed that I held on a minute longer than I should have. Although all of these things were my issues, I placed the blame for them all on you.

As time passed, I began to take responsibility for my role in these situations. I could have walked away long before things came to a head. I stayed to long, wanted more than each of you could give, and wanted to be loyal when some showed no loyalty in return. Thats the way it goes sometimes. But as I've stated all of the things I disliked, but you all had some amazing qualities that drew me to you in the first place.

I thank you all for lifting me up, making me feel more beautiful each day, giving me strength when I felt weak. Being there at times when no one else would. I appreciate it. The nights out on the town, trips around the world, and time spent hanging out in front of the tv. I appreciate it all. By taking the best parts of each of you, I know what I want and don't want in the future. I know what feels good and what feels bad. I thank you for it. Without the good and the bad that each of you brought into my life, I wouldn't be the woman that I am. Stronger, smarter, more in love with myself. The woman ready to give all of the love I gave to each of you and more to the man who will finally deserve to have it. I have no regrets, because each moment was part of God's Divine plan for my life. I embrace it fully. I wish you all happiness, joy, and love. Enough of each to change your lives and make you receptive to real, pure, unconditional love.

Love you all,
Lexi

30-Day Blog Challenge: Day 6 - A Letter to A Stranger

Hey there,
As I pass you on the street or drive past you in my car, sometimes I wonder. Are your blues like mine? Are your highs as high or your lows as low? Do you go home alone at night? Or have family there waiting to see you. Are you pleased with your life, or feeling lost? Are you hopeful, prayerful, joyful, or filled with sorrow. What are your hopes and dreams? What are your biggest regrets? Are you living life, or merely existing? What is your story?

I'd love to know more,
Lexi

30-Day Blog Challenge: Day 5 - A Letter to My Dreams

Since I was a child, I've been living with extremely vivid dreams. Its a rare occurence when I dream and am gently awakened by it. My dreams, when I have them, are extremely vivid and rock me awake with ferocity. I also had so many dreams for my life that I had not yet fulfilled. I write this letter to both types.

Dear Nighttime Dreams,

Many nights I pray for respite from your intensity. Waking up in a state of panic, a cold sweat or a fever is nothing I look forward to. The images you present to me scare me, make me joyful, or arouse me. I can never tell which. The thoughts of my mind before rest rarely have anything to do with the show you put on. I know that sometimes my mind is in overdrive, making it difficult for you to piece together a coherent lesson. I still lie down in fear that you will return to me. My 10,000 Dreams Explained helps me piece together some sort of meaning in all of this. Some sort of connection to reality when things seem so far away. Sometimes I wish that I could understand them all better. That I could find some semblance of normalcy in the picture show of my mind. The nights I am without you give me peaceful rest. I yearn for that rest, and curse myself when you deprive me of them. Sometimes I appreciate the insight you provide, while other times I wish for you to stay away...

Trying to find rest,
Lexi

To my Lifelong Dreams,

I know that you must think I have forgotten you all. I know that you may think I have abandoned you for others. I must admit that life got in the way of achieving some of you, but I work constantly to try to figure out how to make you all happen again. I want nothing more than to achieve all of the things I so desparately wanted in life. The train to my destiny has not been derailed, we are sitting at a fork in the tracks deciding which route is best. I will begin my journey with a renewed sense of self and hope for the future. Hoping that those who I carry on this train will provide the support and encouragement I will need to stay on track. I will reach you all one day. Do not fret. I am on my way.

See you soon,

Lexi